Monday, March 30, 2009


The girls and I have been watching Dancing with the Stars. They love "oohing" and "aahing" the dresses and rating them for modesty. I love listening to them.

"How do they spin around so many times without puking??"
"Drop her! Drop her!!" (that was M).

G and M drag out the dress up clothes to watch the show. They take turns dressing up as either a boy or a girl and dancing along with the tv dancers. They are a hoot to watch. I really should video it. I probably would if not for the fact that their costumes often are just as immodest and due to the frequent wardrobe malfunctions that occur.

Tonight we went to a whole new level tho. About halfway thru the show, A suggested that for the rest of the night we only talk in 'redneck'. This is ALWAYS entertaining. G decided to serenade us with armpit fart noises. To get the full picture tho, you must know, she was wearing a Victorian era type gown, which she yanked down in the front in order to get at said 'pit. Then she drawled, "Listen! I can play Jingle Bells!" And she did. And I laughed so hard I was left gasping for breath.

A few minutes later she decided to play the alphabet song. Apparently A did not want to be left out so she suggested, "You play it on your armpit and I'll burp it!"

Somehow, I just don't think you'll ever see my girls on Dancing with the Stars.

Vain little critter

I just asked M, "Who loves you?"

She tipped her head to the side and said, "Yoooou. And Aunt Carrie (apparently Miss Carrie's been promoted) and everyone who knows me!"

Yep, that would pretty much conclude the list. :)

Saturday, March 28, 2009

According to the calendar...

it's supposed to be spring. It even almost felt like spring this morning--I went to the first garage sale of the season! It wasn't a true garage sale, but a consignment sale which means lots of name brand clothes at higher-than-garage-sale prices. I found some GREAT loot tho and came away happy.

I spent the afternoon napping. When I woke up, I could hear sleet hitting the windows. The DaddyMan came to wake me and informed me we could get a bunch of snow tonight. Ugh! I told him to go away and pulled the covers over my head for another hour.

So, if winter's not truly over, I may have to go back into hibernation. I wanna be a bear.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

I am woman...

Hear me snore.

(okay, really funny, I just typed "hear me snort" which is SO true of me and so ironic considering that a friend just sent me some really funny pictures of herself that make me laugh until I snorted repeatedly. I'd post them, but I've been threatened with bodily harm if I did. Sorry.)

Okay, back to today's topic. Snoring. That's what I plan to do very soundly tonight as I am worn out! I decided to Rug Doctor my carpets today. I've been tossing this idea out to the DaddyMan lately and even outright suggesting it, but he's never jumped at the chance.

So, like the feminist that I am (snort!), today I took matters into my own hands and just First I rented the machine and bought the cleaner. Then I moved the dual recliner couch into the entryway and then I lifted the recliner upside down and set it on the couch. Then I stretched my back and drank a whole glass of water while contemplating a stronger drink.

After that, I spent about 45 minutes deafening myself with the Rug Doctor and cursing the person who made the handle on the thing so short. I was very impressed at how it brought my carpet back to some of it's former glory though! When the first room was done, I moved on to the next room, after making a total maze out of the main floor which left Piper the Wonder Dog confused and trapped on several occasions. At one point she was happily laying on a damp section of just cleaned carpet because I think it was the only space big enough for her 130lb self. Poor dear. She didn't seem to realize she's the main reason I have to clean these carpets!

Now, hours later, three rooms of carpetting are clean. Two are dry and I'm partially moved back into those rooms and the other will hopefully be dry by morning. If not, I'll turn off the furnace again, open the windows and let the breezes blow through. After the house temp drops to 55 like it did today, I will hopefully remember to turn the furnace back on again.

Maybe tomorrow I'll wash curtains or some other Suzy Homemaker sort of thing. I haven't shrunk curtains in at least a year.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Somebody talks a lot.

Once a week, I take two of my children to piano and take Miss M to run errands. I have one hour. I can get a lot done in one hour, if I hurry.

This week we ran to one store to do a return, then to buy fabric and then to Sam's Club. While riding in the cart M chattered away about anything and everything. A woman passing by commented on what a chatterbox she was.

After I picked up the big girls from their lesson, I told them, "Some lady in Sam's called M a chatterbox."

G asked, "Why'd she do that?"

A quickly replied, "Because you weren't there."

(The truth is, they are ALL chatterboxes, just in case you hadn't gotten that memo yet.... )

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I'm a junkie

I have become addicted to Scrabble on Facebook. I generally have between 5 and 10 games going and sit down from time to time to catch them all up.

I sat down earlier and managed to play SCRIPTER which used all my tiles and gave me a 50 point bonus. YES! I let loose with a merry, yet slightly evil sounding laugh.

From the corner of my eye, I could see A peering over her book at me. I told her what I'd just done and smiled joyfully. She didn't share my joy.

"I wonder how much I will come visit you when I have small children of my own."

And that made me laugh too. :D

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

How do YOU feel?

At dinner, G lamented, "I feel like I'm adopted."

I had to ask, "How on earth do you know what it fee like to be adopted?"

"Well I feel like I'm bossed around by a drunk woman with a big stick named Miss Hannigan." Then, looking at her big sister (who's neither a drunk nor carries a stick) she declared, "And that would be YOU!"

Whew... at least today, I'm not to blame.

Monday, March 16, 2009

More speech issues

*Just a warning, there is a bad word, or two, or three in this post. If you don't like bad words, skip this one. If you like to giggle at slightly naughty children, stick around.*

M is currently working on the 'sh' blend in her speech therapy. (Yep, you know where this is going, don't you??) So every day she and I practice saying some 's' and some 'sl' words for review and then we move into 'sh' words. She and G were sitting at the counter and I was doing dishes and giving her words to say. Since G cannot keep her mouth shut, she was part of the conversation. It went something like this.

Me: M, say ssssoooup.
G: Sooup.
M: SSSSoup.
Me: Good, now say ssslllliiiide.
G: Slllide.
M: ssssllllliiiiide.
Me: Great, now say ssshhhhooooes.
G: Shoes.
M: Shooooose.
Me: How about shhhut.
G: Shut.
M: Shhhut.

Good so far. Then it started getting dicey. After 'shut' G took the lead.

G: M, say shit. (She smiles so innocently).
M: Shhit.
G: Good. Say shit. (still smiling innocently, her eyes big)
Me: Um, G....(I'm trying hard NOT to smile. But her smile...ey yi yi... it's getting me!) (suck it up Mom! Be firm with her!) Sterner voice now "G! We do not talk that ...." (shoot, she's STILL smiling sweetly at me. Seriously!) I had to turn around 'cause I couldn't keep from smiling.

Okay, deep breath, trying it again. I turn around planning to give her a brief lecture on inappropriate words.

G: M, say shit.
M: (parrotlike) Shit.
I think at this point, G tipped her head to the side and smiled sweetly, like she was hoping to win the "Helper of the Day Award." After turning around AGAIN to take some deep breaths and wipe the grin off my face, I managed to very briefly suck it up and be the mom.

Me: There are some words we just don't say. Got it?
G: nods, while smiling sweetly at me.
Me: Why don't we take a break and you can go watch a Veggie Tales?
G, M and A: Hooray!

Brats. I swear, they plan to gang up on me some days..

Saturday, March 14, 2009


Often before going to bed, my girls will ask, "What are we doing tomorrow?"

The other night when they asked this question, I told them the next day was a cleaning day. M got very excited and with a big smile asked, "Who's coming over??"

Being a stinker starts young around here.....

Friday, March 13, 2009

Put away those scissors!

My two little girls had long bangs. Since I'm the one that gives them haircuts, it was up to me to remedy this problem. I should've picked a better time to trim them tho--rather than doing it in a hurry before we needed to be somewhere.

I also should've stuck with the idea to start small and trim off more if necessary. I should not have said "Oops!" when I realized that I'd whacked off more than I should have. I also should have cut straight.

As soon as I was done making those 4 mistakes, G looked in the mirror, then looked at me and sweetly said, "Thanks for giving me a really bad haircut Mom!"

I know, this post would be far more telling with a photo. But I've embarrassed this poor child enough and I can't bear to ask her to ham it up for a 'bad haircut photoshoot'. She asked me to make her a bandana to cover her hair so people don't point and laugh.

This mama has some serious guilt. I may actually pay someone to cut her hair the next time.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009


I overheard G telling her sisters the things she's afraid of. I thought her list of things was worth sharing.

I'm scared of the dark.

I'm scared of things that chase me.
"Like Piper?" big sister A asks.
No, like M. (I had to stifle a giggle here.)

I'm scared of bats.
"You've never SEEN a bat!" Big sister doesn't seem to think one can fear something you haven't actually SEEN.
So? I'm still scared of them.

I'm scared of skunk smell.
"Skunk smell? But skunks are cute!" Again, big sister adds her commentary.....

Missing the point

Today during school were were discussing being a listener, versus a talker. I tried to paint a picture of how this concept should work. I used the old, "Why do you think God gave us two ears but only one mouth?" line.

It didn't work.

A came back quickly with, "So that when we talk people can hear us??"

Sunday, March 8, 2009

He's gifted

DaddyMan did the taxes. After rooting thru my filing drawer to find him the papers and such that he needed, I decided this would be a good time to clean out that drawer.

I spent days sorting, organizing and deciding what to discard. Then I spent hours feeding papers to the shredder. Then, sadly, my shredder stopped. I still had more than an inch high stack to shred! Aaaaah!

I complained to the DaddyMan. He told me it was probably dead. Shoot. I left it on the counter, right where it had died because a)it's to cold to run it to the garage garbag can and b)I was feeling lazy. I spent the day walking past it and thinking that I should just pick the fool thing up and run it to the trash. But I didn't.

Later in the day, the DaddyMan asked me if I got it to work again. I said, "Nope. Unless it's a Pentecostal paper shredder and it's been miraculously healed."

The DaddyMan put his hand on top of it, switched it on, fed it paper and it WORKED! "Hallelujah!" I yelled. "I never knew you were a healer!"

He just smiled. Who know that after 15 years I'd learn about yet another talent my man has?

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Another milestone

Another baby growing up too fast. She lost her first baby tooth today at age 6 years and 10 months. Considering she got her first tooth at 1 year, I'm not surprised it's taken her this long to lose one.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Out for a Sunday Drive

Last Sunday, on the drive to church, we could've been killed. This Sunday, I almost died of embarrassment.

The DaddyMan was playing in church on Sunday so it was up to me to get the other four of us there on time. Since I'm a big time morning procrastinator, this is sometimes a challenge. (This procrastination is the reason that I can shower, do my hair and make up and be dressed in about 12 minutes. If a girl can't change her habits, she has to change how high maintenance she is.)

Of course, when it was time to go, we were running a few minutes later that I'd like and managed to get stuck at a stop light. The green arrow light came on, two cars in front of me went but the truck in front of me just sat there. Um, hello? Places to go here people! So, I honked. They went, I went and we both continued down the road towards the church.

I followed them and realized that they too were going to turn into our church parking lot. DOH! And I, being the prideful self that I am, was fully prepared to park on the far side of the church, in the cold wind, if they'd gone to the side I normally park on, so they wouldn't know who I was.

Just the day before, while driving around Chicago with a very dear friend and sharing another driving story, she'd asked me , "Do you have a fish on the back of your van?" "Nope." I quickly responded. "Good!"

I wouldn't want to be a hypocrite you know. Perhaps I need that fish inside my van, where *I* can see it.