Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Educatin' the youngins.

I think it's time to start teaching my child the fine art of sarcasm. That way when someone starts drilling her about her homeschool education she will be ready with some snappy responses to show people she's not just book learned.

The next time someone asks her if she has friends, she could reply, "Yep, I shore do! I gave names to all the mice in my room." I mean, seriously, who asks an 11 year old girl if she has friends? She has two sisters, the neighbor kids, a boatload of friends at church and enrichment group, as well as the old friends from back in God's country whom she regularly writes letters too. What 11 year old girl doesn't have friends? How on Earth do I keep a child from having friends? I suppose if I did keep her locked in her room or chained to her books, perhaps. But if that were the case, how would she be outside the house, able to chat with strangers about her unusual education?

And can I just say, that the mere fact that she's chatting with the idiot who asked such a question proves that she's been socialized!

After that great question, my dear sweet A was asked if she had PE. "Do you mean, do I get picked last for sports and made fun of if I'm not very good?" Um, no. That's not the kind of physical education we give our kids in our homeschool, no siree. We keep them hopping up and down runnin' to the fridge to bring daddy another beer or mama a fresh box o' bonbons. And don't forget the daily 2 mile forced walk that my girls must endure to walk their beast of a Wonder Dog. Did my dear child tell any of this to the doddering fool who asked? Um, no. She responded, "We went on a ski trip." Doh! Right honey, 6 days of skiing is probably equal to running laps or playing dodgeball twice a week like those other school kids.

She did a little better in response to the "How is school going?" inquiry. My dear chatterbox girl responded, "Good." Okay, this one totally cracks me up. Did she tell the idiot woman that she's three grade levels ahead in math? Or that she's already completely finished her textbooks for a couple of subjects or that she reads about 2 hours a day, a above her grade levels? Nope. Apparently, I didn't teach her how to give a prideful answer at the same time I didn't teach her how to give a snappy sarcastic one.

Perhaps that's a good thing.

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